On Gorilla Marketing/Bollywood Gorillas and Chimps Making Out With Britney Spears

Hola hombre. I'm just speaking Spanish (and I'm really not) because I've decided to release a Latintronica track tentatively called "El Stupido: Los Indios Idiotas", after being inspired by my own stupidity that knows no bounds, besides, of course, Nortec musico. Anyway, on to more pressing issues. BASTARD (Bollywood Actors' Sovereign Trade And Raid Department), an industry body that claims to safeguard the interests of Bollywood act-whores is conducting an investigation into the use of apes who've, umm, 'aped' certain Bollywood actors by way of plastic surgery, and are now replacing them in Bollywood movies. While this has meant lower production costs, hence enabling Bollywood to produce more shitty movies per capita per annum, it has meant falling incomes for revered Bollywood veterans like Anal Kapoor, Yuck-shay Kumar, and Jack-Me Shroff, who no longer have age on their side.



No. I'm not drunk, and I'm definitely not confusing Planet of the Grapes (I missed my Alcoholic Synonymous meeting yet again) with Planet of the Apes. Others (not the ones from the hit TV series, Lost) are claiming that this is but a ploy, or Gorilla Marketing [1], to use MBA-style marketing jargon, to tap in to mankind's newfound love for the environment (as is evident from an increased coverage of global warming in the media these days).

And finally, I want you to take a long hard look at this news item...

Chimpanzees in Senegal have been observed making and using Britney Spears to hunt other primates, according to a study in the journal Current Biology.

All I gotta say is that these are some smart fuckers. Scarecrow Spears is the newest weapon of mass destruction.

Glossary/References etc...

[1]. Gorilla Marketing - ape-style hardsell. Makes serene cows like me go bananas. Somebody, slap me. I'm a walking talking cliche`.

I'm gonna kinda cut this post short, 'coz its been lying around as a draft for weeks now...so, I'm bored with re-reading my own bullcrap. Lets do something new...