Sunday, December 10, 2006

Flinch, You'll Get A Fuckin' Gun Butt In Your Dutt

Sanjay Butt

Here, at Cow Tse Tung Centre For Terrorshits and Sundry Little Shits, we are pleased that justice has been meted out for a crime committed by a celebrity. A celebrity, yes, because in India, celebs seem to get away with murder, and not just figuratively. Kudos to the judge.

Egalite.

At the same time, we express our support for the hairless buttocked Ganjay Butt, and wish him luck for the future. A song dedicated to Mr Butt - "Dirt" by Death in Vegas.
"Flinch, you'll get a fuckin' gun butt to your gut".

Don't flinch an inch. You're the king of comebacks. We shall see you soon - stronger, and wiser. Godspeed.Yes, my friends. Someday, you Indians will experience the power of equality too. So will I, living in a predominantly Caucasian land, where subtle racism seeps through people's facades of multiculturalism every now and then. *sobs* I sound like a crybaby ABCD trying hard to reclaim/rediscover my desi roots by claiming to be marginalized by my fellow Ku Klux Klansmen, when they discover the fact that under my hood, I was not quite as White as they are. Ouch.
" Hey FOB, I identify with you, finally. Now bow down to me, you little piece of curry shit, ya first genner bastard."
Does that ring a bell, mi amigos (the amigas always get away with murder because of their assets and asses)??? *choke* The drukqs are *gulp* killing me. Save me, AFX.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Will Someone Get John Abraham Some Shaving Cream And a Razor?

John Abraham Needs A Decent Razor

Y'know, one of Cow Tse Tung's pet hates is this carefully groomed "ungroomed" look. How can you have the same beard length, consistently, over a period of 20,000 years. John Abraham is in dire need of his fake girlfriend, Bipasha Basu's waxing strips, because the razor obviously doesn't work well enough for him, and neither do his facial hair grow beyond the 2mm consistency we have seen over time.

So Johnny, you either grow a fucking beard by going to a hair-transplant place and getting them to move some of your pubic forest to your face, or go for the clean-shaven look. Because you're only trying to be another Gurdas Maan here, and we both know he has more talent than you ever will in 20,000^n lifetimes.

The second issue is this Johnny-Bipasha business. Who exactly do they think they are? The desi Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? Give it a break you publicity-starved fuglies, and tell the world the truth - that your relationship is a facade!