First things first. There's a couple of nice new Bollywood blogs that are way more active, and I hate saying, a tad funnier/respectable. *sobs*.
Do check them out. Or I'd be happy to do a feature on you. OOOoooooooOOOOooooooo.
As is cowmon (notice the rasta connection, cow-M O N, rasta MON) knowledge in Bollywood these days, His Lowness, the venereal Cow Tse Tung is, in wog parlance, a fully sick bodybuilder. Part of my fitness regime includes the intake of this super-herbal-drug (herbal drug! mmmm, salvia salivating), called Horny Goat Weed. It gives you the virility of a horny goat, and the calm demeanor of a weed-wielding hippie. Almost like Weed Willie Winkie, y'know.
So how's that linked to Bollywood, you might ask. Well, you ignoramus, son of a hippopotamus, it might shock you to know this, but former Indian supermodel, and current Bollywood actor, Arjun Ram Balls ("ram" balls, ode to horny goatweed, but of course) once trained with me at my state of the art gym. Don't believe me? He's wearing the shirt I wore to the last Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in Saharanpur district.
With a cigarette in my hand...
I felt like a man (remember the public service ad on Zee TV?)
Now, his wife, fellow former Indian supermodel, Mehr Jessia comes across as a pleasant woman generally. But, I can bet you never saw THIS side of her. Her middle name is Peta, as in PETA. I kid you not.
Yeah, when life's a bitch and so is your wife, you want to make sure you get under her skin. But since we're not skin-shedding snakes (unless you believe in bloody David Icke), we have to make do with wearing her clothes. Don't ask me to get into the nitty-gritties. Ask Arjun, the autogynephiliac (yeah, laugh at me - I had to Google the spelling).
