When Reel Meats Real

Our Bollywood watchdog, Pillu, brother of famous Bollywood bitch from a thousand and one films, "Moti" (as in PEARL, not FATASS) Kuttiya has brought to our notice the issue of Bollywood stars being so underpaid that the actors have resorted to chewing off the excess flab from the actress' bloated stomachs.



The above picture is quite blurry, but our experts say it is Sanjay Kapoor, not Sanjay Kapur (industrialist, Karishma aunty's ex-husband), digging into Karishma Kapoor's fat. This serves a twin purpose - it saves cash and stardom-starved Sanjay some valuable pennies, even as it helps Karishma avoid coughing up lakhs of rupees in order to get a basic liposuction procedure performed. While they were at it, they decided to get Anu Malik to steal some music from some Western musician, and spice the tune up with some really meaningful lyrics.

In other news, major food multinationals, including Heinz and Kraft were said to be interested in Karishma's abundant cellulite deposits. Some people have all the luck. :-(