Ghai Makes A Subh_Ass of Himself, But Manages To Give Humpty Dumpty A Run For His Money

I think old-time Bollywood beauty, geisha-like Rekha Aunty is trying to tell Bollywood director/producer, Uncle Subhash Ghai that he's no Mithun Punker-Bertie [not Mr. Wooster, from the PG Wodehouse classics]. If I was Subhash uncle, I would listen to Rekha-san [don't be teaching me Japanese grammar :-@], who can always tell the Real McCoy from the chappu chappantikli. She once correctly identified Queeny Dhody as -hold your breath - Queeny Dhody, when the whole world, including Mohammed Al Fayed and myself thought it was the ghost of Princess Diana's late boyfriend, Dodi Al Fayed in a dress.

Coming back to Subh_AssJi, look at those feet, those arms, those graceful movements. Such energy, such rhythm. Sch(ia)muck betey, rasta naapo. SubhassJi, I 'cordially' invite you to my toddler, Calf Tse Tung's "annual day" function at his pre-nursery school, whenever Calf-Tse Tung decides to paradrop from a StorkJet.

70% Bonus Pack:
Yes, extra doodh in today's milk packet. No tetrapaks for us Indians.
Squishy Cooper and Need-U Sing's [she needs me, and I need a sugar-momma] daughter, Riddhima Kapoor got married to this kapdewaala dude, called Bharat Sahni, Bharat Sawhney [no relation to Nitin Sawhney, my music student], and Bharat Sahani [he's Not a GUJJEW or a Bahai, yo!] in various news items. Can just one desi druggie reporter get the spelling right, for the sake of our spelling-obsessed American-Desi kiddies.

And Riddhima babby, I am disappointed. I understand that most of these Bollywood actors you had a crush on are all faggots who prefer sucking on lollipops to licking ice-cream bowls, but hey, try looking outside of Bollywood. There's me, for starters, 75% Punjabi cow, asli-ghee di chamdi, accha parivar [good pedigree], top udders, sexy tail...

Yes, back in the day, I used to sing "Riddhima's a Dancer" to the tune of Snap's "Rhythm Is A Dancer". Memories. Sigh. Riddhima Sawhney.



And then there's B-Ugh-Rat - looks more like an overfed Jat "kyon shaaney" bodyguard than a husband you'd wear on your sleeve. Nice shirt, wanktank. Who'd you steal it from? Steve Irwin? Jim Corbett?

Anyway "Ridzz" [yeah, yeah, I know how much we hate these zz suffixes, but spare a thought for ZZ Top] babby, you had your chance - now, its pretty Sonam Kapoor's turn. Mmmmmmm. SonaMmmmmmmmmmmmm.