Nach Baliye - We Are Not Dancing With The Sitars

Most of my reading these days involves Sun Tzu, The Callgirls Toplist and the like, because y'know, I'm a macho, globe-trotting corporate warrior and shit. Anyway, so I ended up clicking this link to an article about "Nach Baliye", from one of the feeds on this blog, and behold! I am now one of the lucky few who have been exposed to the wonders of this "Dancing With The Stars" themed show, with fabulous dance routines and costumes that make the most flamboyant of drag queens seem like Mother Teresa.



Rakhi Sawant might not be great at her makeup, but her partner sure has learnt a few tricks off her. And, I am greatly distressed here - Rakhi is CLOTHED! That's bullshit man. I want my money back.



Y'know, men get a bad name for being obsessed with boobs. What about chicks who stare at other chicks' boobies? No, that's so moral. I agree. There's nothing hotter than a hot chick that likes chicks. Long live dusky, pretty Bollywood lesbians.


The dignified lady in red seems to be asking something of the Caucasian gentleman to her right...



Yes, that's Salman Khan at the extreme right. He seems to have been watching a lot of Scrubs, since he's started calling all these new kids girlie names. I don't know or care who the other two turds are. What I do care about is the new Speed Racer movie, which is out in 2008. Woohoo! What can I say about the costumes? The guy's wearing a shiny, satin pair of trackpants, with a shiny silver stripe for heaven's sake.



I bet you didn't realize currypuffs had Christmas costumes too. Merry Christmas, amigos.


After all those eyesores, there was yummy mummy Pooja Bedi to soothe my eyes. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Doogie Likes It Doggystyle

I've googled it, and after all these months no gossip queen has used this witty, and mind-bending (pun intended; does one even exist here?) headline. Yes, Neil Patrick Harris is gay, and I think its great. Because now I can make all those Doogie-doggy jokes I've held out on for all these decades. A burden has been lifted. Takes me back to Time Magazine's Busta Rhymes arrest report, "Busta Busted", "Busted Crimes", "Busta Crimes".

Also, it makes his role in Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle all the more humorous. Why? 'Coz, the guy doesn't even like pussy. Ah, sarcasm, thy name be Neil Patrick Harris.



Anyway, what did you expect after NPH was caught in compromosing positions with male castmates, such as this:

Urmila Has An Eye (FOR/AND) a Timepiece

Labor-leisure theory is a farce. The more cents per hour they give me, the greater is my workload. Strategic management? What's that. Star cows - you're the cash cows - more milk, less grazing, less sleep, consistent output. Management is for Peter Drucker.

Anyhoo, we aren't here to discuss corporate philosophy and whine and bitch and moan. Instead, we are here to poke fun at Urmila Mutt-on-car's fashion sense.

I mean, what were you thinking? First, you have a "pendant" that's straight out of a Morris Day and the Time live set, and then you make a necklace out of King Kong's left eyeball? Must be "Jungle Love". HAHAHA. I crack myself up. Not. These subtle references to pop culture, which I won't even understand in a couple of months, when I visit my blog as a visitor...shame on me.



Anyway kids, as Jay and Silent Bob say, "its the Motherfucking TIME"! Merry Christmas ;-)

Engrish Is My Eleventh Language

1+1 isn't always 2, as evidenced below. Y'know, ever so often I try so hard to come across as a funny cunt, that more often than not, I fail. Miserably. I bow down to the brilliant mind that comes up with one liners like the ones below. I mean, how do I compete against this...

Ayesha Takia is escalated after signing ‘Kajri’ opposite Aamir Khan.

Dino shared, “I started the evening with some champagne and strawberries and after the meal I had some quixotic dessert, a nice molten chocolate cake and a cappuccino.”

Join Us

You think you you can do better than why not join us. Time and Passion are a Must Have creditencials.

C'mon, surely you can have a call-to-arms proofread prior to publication. Turdburgers.

My quixotic dessert leaves me in a molten, escalated state. The person dealing with the IT issue doesn't have the creditencials to score the debt.

Tintin Doggiestyles Nikki Aneja

I was a huge Tintin and Snowy fan as a child. I think I've read all but 4 of the Tintins ever released.



So, it makes my heart swell with pride when I see quality, family-friendly Indian entertainment, despite growing immorality across the globe, with inspiration (however warped) drawn from (Herge's, as in this case) masterpiece comic series.


I mean, check this out. Indian Tintin clone with a Snowy hangover, dressed in discarded fabric from a refurbished sofa that belonged to his great-grandmother, with the deftest, most stylish highlighted hair you are ever to see. He's doing something evil to Nikki Aneja, who used to be a real hottie, until she decided to dress solely in fugly, boring Indian outfits, and star in nonsensical television serials about family feuds, extramarital affairs and black magic.

That dude is the antithesis of coolness. What's a MILF like Nikki doing with him? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

You're on the blog that asks...what's with this sindoor shit? I mean, its like marking your prey. Analogically represents a virgin's bleeding vagina. Shameful practice. Nothing religious about it.